Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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