Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
