May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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