Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
