he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
