seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
