Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
