I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize