Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
