So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
