i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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