this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
