im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
