Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
