Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
