I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
