I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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