my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
