____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
