Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
