We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
