You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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