he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
