btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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