But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
