yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
