She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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