dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
