And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
