Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
