yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
