You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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