I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
