Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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