Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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