My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
