So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
