areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
