If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
