How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
