the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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