Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
