see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
