forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
