Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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