you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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