Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
