you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
