What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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