dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
