Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
